Just when we’re getting friendly with the idea of depending on God for bread, Jesus crosses into terribly dangerous territory:
Forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
We tend to trip over these words because we’re fond of speaking about forgiveness as the “free” gift of God. We can’t earn our pardon, or purchase the grace that pulsates through God’s heart.
If only it were that easy.
Jesus teaches that forgiveness must be given in order to be received – and that doesn’t mean we’re buying our forgiveness. When we give our seeds to the soil hoping to receive a crop we aren’t purchasing a harvest, we’re participating in it. When we plow the dirt, or weed and water the crops, we aren’t earning life, we’re submitting to it.
The difference is control.
The stuff we earn belongs to us and the property we buy is private – we control its movement. We’d prefer to think the same is true of gifts like forgiveness. Once we have it, it’s ours to keep. But forgiveness can’t be owned because it isn’t a badge or a boundary – it’s a substance for carrying life, like water for the crops or blood in the body. If we don’t send it out it can’t nourish, and eventually everything withers – including us. We must give in order to receive, we must die in order to live, we must forgive in order to be forgiven.
And that takes faith.
Prayer Exercise
Set aside 15-20 minutes where you won’t be interrupted. Start by reading a favorite Psalm, singing a favorite song, or repeating the petition above from the Lord’s prayer.
After you feel centered, stop and consider “forgiveness” in your life. What are the withering relationships at home, at work, with friends? Pray for each situation, asking God to show you what forgiveness and reconciliation would look like in each situation. Imagine what actions, if any, you may need to take.
denise on 
jenell on
Initially both Cory and I thought that we were alright in this area of “forgiveness” in our lives, but as we re-examined our hearts we have some things to pray about.
This was powerful. This could be something I need to start out doing afresh each and every morning, because you ask? I have several very old women in my life that I know. (we’re talking 80′s and 90′s here) Some are relatives, some acquaintances, some bible study partners. Some know the Lord, some don’t. Some know the Lord but have much un-forgiveness in their lives. I see old women full of grace and joy and love who give back to those around them abundantly and I see bitter, cranky, mean spirited women who are hard to be around. I believe the difference is forgiveness in their lives or lack there of….I want to be like the old women full of grace and joy, I’m afraid I will be like the cranky, bitter women.
“But forgiveness can’t be owned because it isn’t a badge or a boundary – ….we must forgive in order to be forgiven.”
Ouch. I agree, but ouch.
Just like everyone else, I have a few issues with forgiving those in my life. However, the people I have trouble forgiving the most are people out of my reach. Leaders of the world (at all four “corners” of the globe) who are crooked and criminal. Child rapists and murderers. Terrorists who are just demons in disguise. Those are some of the people I have a VERY hard time forgiving. I understand having a righteous anger is fine – but that’s one thing. But the evil that many of these humans emulate is just down right abhorrent – it’s Evil! It just burns me how justice has not been given in many cases – well, as of yet.
Sometimes, especially with child rapists/murderers and terrorist, I just feel such a rage of hatred towards them, it makes me ashamed to feel like I am betraying what God taught me long ago about love and hate – and essentially – forgiveness (however, that’s another story. LONG story).
There are many reasons why we won’t forgive – and in some cases we feel like we just CAN’T forgive. Some are perfectly understandable reasons and others are just a matter of pride. Whatever the situation – It’s never cut and dry, THAT’S for sure.
Yah, I struggled with this one. I realized I don’t personally hate anyone I know.
Yeah, I don’t personally hate anyone I know either. Quite frankly other than the ones I have a hard time with….I don’t hate people I *don’t* know either.
I understand that forgiveness we give to other people isn’t (necessarily) something we give to someone else so it can make them feel better (though, there are times for that) but it’s for us so we can allow it to cleanse our soul and be in right standing before God. Just because someone doesn’t accept our forgiveness doesn’t mean we’re exempt from giving it. Likewise, just because someone doesn’t ASK for our forgiveness also doesn’t exempt us from having to give it. Which is painful enough. If THAT wasn’t hard enough, I believe (and I could be wrong on this though I don’t think I am) if we are ask for forgiveness from someone who has done us wrong (and they have a repentant heart) the responsibility for us to forgive is now in our hands. If we don’t forgive them – we are now in the wrong. That part hurts a lot. Sometimes it’s a rough, jagged pill to swallow. We obviously will never be able to achieve it without a LOT of prayer, reading of the Word, prayer, tons of humility, prayer….and more prayer.